Not My Fantasy, much less Final

So...Sony put Final Fantasy VII Remake as a plus game this month. Sure, it's free for me, why not play it. Yeah, I tried. I really did try.

Ummm....yeah. Not sure what all the hullabaloo is with this franchise. Everyone in this game is a trope of some kind and not in a good way. Cloud is a moody bitch who reminds me of Legolas. He's so f@#king fey I can't really believe all the $h!t he talks during battle. Biggs looks EXACTLY like 1985 Charlie Sheen in Red Dawn and I'm not the only one who clocked that. Tifa...average face big tits small waist, deferential female but can supposedly fight...BARF. And Barret is such a racist depiction of a quasi-black behemoth...I can't, I just can't...I REALLY, REALLY CAN'T.

After the first, very exciting mission the game expects me to grind with some silly side mission bull$h!t. Hunt rats in the slums?! Really?! Okay, okay, they were wererats, but c'mon!!!

I'm so tired, so very, very, very tired of the same old same old. I can't and I won't do it. If I'm gonna grind it'll be on Warframe or RDR2 online because at least I LIKE those worlds. I don't like anything about FFVII except possibly the art. The world is beautiful though so very trite.

I understand the FF franchise has been around a long time but it leeches off tropes that are much older without proper respect. It acts as though these thefts are its prerogative...guess what, it's not. And if Cloud Strife (yes that's his full, corny-a$$ wannabe The Cure Robert Smith name) sighs one more goddang time...Breathe Foxx, breathe.

THANK GOD The Last of Us 2 won game of the year in 2020. At least those devs are thinking, pushing, trying, innovating. YES it was depressing, but it was never boring or annoying. And for the record, I LOVED the ending. It made sense to those of us without the testosterone to want to KILL KILL KILL and since the protagonists were female, it ended as it should have. BRAVO, ELLIE. But I digress.

FFIIV Remake should have been left in the past where it belongs. A male fantasy that should be the final one. One can hope. I'm just glad I didn't pay for it.